I Let Him Get Away With Murder
by MagicaeArtiumLaudator
Summary: Rachel tells Gill the truth about Dom, and gets a bit upset in the process. Written purely for fluff/writing practice reasons, and written with love for the S&B girls! One-shot. Rated T for the odd bit of swearing. Please R&R!


**A/N: Well, I was going to update Without Her, but this accidentally happened. I wanted to write something just to get me back into the feel of it; I don't want WH to suffer from the fact that I'm a bit rusty! So here's a one-shot, it's pretty much just 3000 words of fluff. Rachel tells Gill about Dom being guilty of murdering Nick Savage and Gill is very sympathetic. Sorry if it's a bit OOC, I just have so many Gill/Rachel h/c feels that I can't deal with! Reviews might make me cringe a bit less about actually posting this ;)**

**This is especially for Amy because I know she feels exactly the same way. **

**I don't own S&B.**

Rachel Bailey leant against the door to her flat, dropping her keys as she tried to unlock the door. She was still shaking from adrenaline, fear, distress, anger and (a small, guilty part of her) relief. She had just chased her own brother from Manchester Piccadilly Station through the city until they had ended up down a quiet alley, had tried to arrest him and not been able to bring herself to, had let him (quite literally) get away with murder. A murder that for a few terrifying hours she thought she might have committed while drunk out of her mind, that she had even been suspected of committing. It had been a huge relief to find out she was innocent, but the fact that Dom had been the guilty one was almost as bad. She'd tried so hard to help him get his life back on track and now he would be wanted for murder. In a way, Rachel thought miserably, it was partly her fault – for getting involved with Nick Savage in the first place, but then for allowing him to affect her to the extent that her brother had felt the need to kill him to stop him hurting her. Or rather, for letting Dom see how much it had affected her. Why couldn't she learn to keep her own bloody secrets?

Rachel bent down and picked up the keys, taking a shuddering breath. She had squatted down in that alley and cried until there were no tears left, but she still felt as if her body were trying to continue. She wearily inserted the right key into the lock and turned it, dragging herself inside, feeling about ten years older than she had two days ago. Exhausted, Rachel all but crawled to her bed, dropping her jacket and bag and kicking off her shoes on the way. She pulled the covers up so that only the top of her head was showing and closed her eyes, allowing herself to finally succumb to the tiredness that had completely overcome her.

She was awoken what seemed like a very short while later by her phone ringing. Glancing at the radio alarm clock on her bedside table as she groped about for her phone, Rachel discovered that it was half seven in the evening, so she'd been asleep for about four hours. She eventually found her phone and, with no time to check the caller ID, quickly pressed answer before the answerphone kicked in.

"Rachel Bail-"

"Rachel."

Gill Murray's voice interrupted her before she could finish. Rachel scrambled up in bed slightly, tucking a strand of her behind her ear.

"Hi," she said simply, her heart sinking. She knew this was going to be about Dom, and if it wasn't she knew she had to tell what she knew. It was one thing to allow him to get away, she could pass that off by saying he outran her, but there was no way she could pretend not to know who was responsible for Nick's death.

"I've just spoken to Julie Dodson again. I shouldn't really be telling you this but she's going to tell you in the morning anyway and I think you should know sooner rather than later - a taxi driver has come forward and told Julie's team that he drove you home straight from the Bridgewater Tower to your house at the time in question last night. He said he saw you come out of the tower with your sister and he saw you let yourself into your flat last night. Of course they're going to check with the cab company that he was definitely on that job at that time last night, and check with your sister, but they'll confirm it and once they have then you're no longer under suspicion."

Rachel's eyes filled with tears again. Her boss sounded so relieved; at least as relieved as she herself would have been, had it not been for Dom.

"Yeah… I know," she replied in a small voice.

"Well you don't sound very pleased," Gill said. Her tone was light but there was a hint of concern in there as well.

Rachel thought for a moment. If Julie was planning to talk to her in the morning, she ought to wait and tell her, for Julie was the SIO on this. Like Gill had said that morning, she herself wasn't involved. But Rachel didn't think she could bear the idea of keeping it to herself for another night. And if she was honest, she wasn't sure that she was supposed to. Technically she should have gone straight to Julie; in not doing she was wasting police time and withholding evidence. She couldn't face Julie Dodson at the moment, she was too drained, and so the idea of telling Gill was becoming more and more appealing by the second.

"I, er… I need to talk to you," she said honestly, waiting tensely.

"Are you at home?"

"Yeah. But if you want I can-"

"No. I'll come over. I'm leaving now." Gill's response was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one.

"Thanks," Rachel said, intensely grateful that she didn't have to go out again, "bye."

"Bye."

While she waited for Gill to arrive, Rachel got up and stood in the middle of her living room, wondering where to start to make both her flat and herself more presentable, having not bothered much about order the past couple of days. She threw away the empty takeaway cartons that littered her coffee table, wiped the surfaces in the kitchen, made sure the bathroom was clean. She put the kettle on and found some clean mugs, before heading back to her bedroom to try and smarten herself up a bit. She dragged a brush through her hair and sprayed on a bit of perfume, thinking that she probably stank after her workout running after Dom. She was just trying to scrub mascara off her cheeks when the door buzzed. Resigned to the fact that she looked as bad as she felt, Rachel plodded to the door and opened it, slightly embarrassed to be standing there in jeans and a loose top with a face like a slapped arse in front of her boss, who looked impeccable as always.

"Come in," she said as Gill gave her a brief smile by way of greeting, showing her into the living room. "I'll make coffee."

Gill simply nodded and sat herself down on the sofa, eyeing up Rachel's drinks tray. Rachel could tell she was waiting for her to talk first and she was grateful that she wasn't rushing her. A couple of minutes later she joined Gill on the sofa, handing her a steaming mug of coffee and wrapping her hands round her own, trying to absorb some of its warmth.

"Whenever you're ready," Gill stated, looking at Rachel with interest over the rim of her mug as she sipped her drink.

"Um.." Rachel began, taking a deep breath and willing herself not to cry, "Earlier on, when my sister called the office. She asked me to go and meet her. She told me… That she knew who'd killed Nick and why."

Gill's eyebrows shot up and she put her coffee down on the table, giving Rachel her full attention. Rachel gave herself a moment to gather her thoughts, then continued.

"It.. It was my brother. Dom. The one I told you about in Bristol."

If Gill was shocked she hid it very well; she just nodded and waited for Rachel to carry on.

"Erm. Apparently… Well, according to Alison, apparently I got a bit… A while ago, and I don't remember it but she said I was, er, upset. Banging on about Nick to Janet and Dom. Anyway, Dom told our Ali that he'd been watching him… stalking him… and, er. Shit."

Repeating it made the full impact of what Dom had done hit Rachel all over again and she couldn't believe she'd got herself, and him, into this situation. Why couldn't she just have moved on when Nick told her he was married? Why did she have to be so stubborn and determined to punish him, when all it had caused was more heartbreak? She pressed her face into her left hand for a moment, eyes squeezed tightly shut, uncomfortably aware that Gill was still watching her. _Come on. Pull yourself together._

She heard Gill exhale softly and next thing felt a hand on her shoulder, gentle at first, not wanting to make her jump, but then squeezing as if trying to undo some of the tension knots that had formed there over the last forty eight hours. Rachel pressed the palm of her hand against her eyes more firmly, face screwed up; trying not to allow the comforting gesture to break her, trying to tell herself that she'd already cried herself out, she didn't need to do it again.

But her body said otherwise.

Without warning, a muffled sob escaped her. Almost instantly, she felt Gill shift slightly on the sofa, closer to her. Her hand moved from Rachel's shoulder and Rachel was vaguely aware of her gently prising her mug out of her right hand and setting it down on the table, before placing one arm around her shoulders, gently rubbing the top of her left arm.

"Rachel." Gill said quietly, and Rachel looked up, the hand she'd had pressed to her face now wet with tears. She wiped it hastily on her jeans, even as she felt fresh tears leak out. She went to scrub them away with her sleeve, but Gill wordlessly produced a little pack from the handbag that sat next to her on the sofa. Keeping her arm tightly around Rachel, she opened them one-handed and handed one to her young DC. Rachel accepted it with an attempt at thanks that came out as just a stutter, wiping at her face uncoordinatedly, her shaking limbs not allowing her any kind of refinement. She clutched the tissue in her hand, squeezing it, still trying to regain control before she made even more of a fool of herself.

"Rachel… This is a bloody awful situation to be in. And I don't want to push you. But I need you to tell me everything. I will talk to Julie, I'm sure there'll be a way we can get you a couple of days to get your thoughts together before-"

"I found him," Rachel interrupted, her voice still wavering but at least audible now. "In the station. Piccadilly. He ran and I chased him and… I don't know. I tried to arrest him, God, I shouted at him, I overpowered him. I just couldn't get the words out. He was trying to tell me that I was safe from Nick now. And I let him go, like the shit copper I seem to be turning into." She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her words, the anger at the unfairness of life. How could she arrest own brother when, really, what he'd done was sprung to her defence, and it had just got out of hand?

"Right, well, firstly, you're not a shit copper. You're one of the best I've seen. So you can stop wallowing in self-pity when it comes to that. More importantly – did anyone see this?"

"Quite a few must have seen me chasing him," Rachel replied, thinking hard, "but there was no one around when I tried to arrest him."

"You're sure?"

"Completely."

"That's that then. Anyone asks, he outran you."

"Really?" Rachel sniffed, meeting her boss' eyes with her own watery gaze. "You don't want me to tell them that I fucked up?"

"No, because I don't think you did fuck up," Gill said softly, "I think you're still human and that was a bloody difficult thing to have to face. I think you dealt with it okay, and as long as nobody saw, what Julie doesn't know won't hurt her. But if you tell anyone else what you've told me, even Janet, I'll still hang you out to dry."

Rachel nodded, blowing out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. She felt Gill give her a comforting squeeze, still looking at her as if she felt she was hiding something.

"What?" Rachel said, still clinging onto the soggy tissue for dear life, feeling even more drained now she'd told Gill everything.

"I can't really believe I'm saying this but don't bottle things up. You know I don't like whining, but this is going to be difficult for you until Dom has been found and charged and you know what's happening. This is never going to stop being difficult for you, and as such it's not whining. Remember that I'm always here for you, Janet's always here for you. The whole team is behind you, Rachel. Talk to us if you need to. Don't let this ruin your life."

Rachel was speechless. She knew Gill had softened towards her in recent months, but she'd never have expected to hear a speech like that. She nodded again, wanting to express her gratitude but not knowing how to, yet more unwanted tears making an appearance.

"Oh sod it," Gill said, sounding a bit upset herself, "I'm no Janet but… Come here."

All of a sudden Rachel found herself being pulled into an embrace that was much softer and warmer than she'd have anticipated from someone so petite. It was the final straw; she gave in completely. Resting her head against Gill's shoulder, enveloped by the smell of her perfume and her hairspray, Rachel let all the pain that had been stabbing at her flood out, while Gill held her close, stroked her hair, kept her supplied with fresh tissues. Rachel dimly thought that it was stupid, she was in her thirties, but she couldn't help but savour the feeling of being looked after. She often struggled to keep her emotions in check, but the last time she could remember properly crying like this in front of anyone, bar when she was drunk, was when she'd had her miscarriage. She'd always been too embarrassed, forced herself to keep things in when people were around. But now, she found she felt completely comfortable with Gill, because she was more than her boss – she was her mentor, her role model and – Rachel felt now, to some extent – her friend. It was mad, when she thought back to how she'd felt when Gill had first offered her the job – the infamous DCI Murray, a brilliant detective but a terrifying boss, Godzilla herself. Proud, yes, excited, yes – but intimidated, more nervous than she'd ever been. If anyone had told her that in a few short years she'd be curled up on her sofa sobbing her heart out in Godzilla's arms, she'd have told them they needed their head examined.

It was working, though. Rachel could feel herself calming down; she felt less distraught now. She felt Gill pat her on the back to get her attention and raised her head, wiping the last tears away.

"Sorry," she said, embarrassed, "It's just, I really tried with him, I thought he was gonna get his life back on track and-"

"I know," Gill said, sitting up straight. She reached out and patted Rachel's hand. "Don't be sorry."

Rachel scrutinised her boss. She looked less immaculate than she had when she first walked in and it took Rachel a moment to realise that it was because her eye make-up was no longer perfect. In fact, there was a single, faint trail of mascara down one of her cheeks. Rachel opened her mouth, but Gill spoke before she got the chance to say anything.

"I'd better go," she said, standing up abruptly and brushing herself down, straightening her jacket and picking up her bag. Rachel rose more slowly from the sofa, feeling a bit dazed. Should she ask Gill what was wrong?

She followed her to the door, lost in her thoughts. At the door, Gill turned round and looked Rachel straight in the eye.

"Look, I'm sorry about Dom but I have to say, Rachel, I am relieved. You're one of my best detectives. And I thought I was going to see all that talent go to waste today. I thought I was going to lose you."

Rachel felt her jaw drop. She felt like a goldfish.

"I-"

Gill nodded brusquely, not allowing Rachel time to speak, then turned and walked down the steps to her car. She got in, looking back and raising her hand in farewell as she did so. Rachel waved back, still feeling like she'd been hit over the head with a saucepan.

Suddenly, in the space of a day, her brother was a murderer and her boss cared about her much more than she'd ever let on.

Shaking her head, Rachel decided she couldn't process any more of this. She went back to bed, thinking that she would deal with whatever happened to Dom when it came to it. For now, she needed to go to sleep before the world turned any further upside down.


End file.
